Ten years ago, I started working in a sports bar. During football season, I worked from open to close. I made great money and had lots of fun. With the exception of Pittsburgh Steelers fans, the customers were really nice and cordial. So, for the last 10 years, I have really, really, really hated the Steelers. They have the worst fans of any NFL team. That’s really saying something considering the way the Cowboys, Browns and Eagles fans act.

Don’t get me wrong, as far as their loyalty to their team goes, the aforementioned fans are great. I mean how they interact with the rest of society. They are complete and total absolute jerks! I will be truly content with never going back to the horrid city that is Pittsburgh again! Sure there are decent people there, but one would never know it because of all the loud-mouthed rude Steelers fans!

And so, after many years of cheering on whatever team happened to be playing the Steelers, I happened to hate Bill Cowher. I hate seeing his face, with his butthole chin and expression of complete and utter constipation. I can’t stand to hear his stupid voice on NFL Today. In other words, in my humble opinion, Bill Cowher SUCKS!

How Brett Favre managed to suck even more

Now all that being said, you may be surprised to here that I am neither a Browns or Bengals fan. I am in fact a Green Bay Packers Fan. When Brett Favre announced his retirement (the first time,) I was absolutely crushed. I hoped all summer long that somehow, they would let him come back. When that didn’t happen, and he went to play for the Jets, I was pretty bummed, but ok with it. When announced he would not return for another season with the Jets, I thought it was a good time for him to REALLY retire.

Then rumors start flying about Brett Favre in talks with the F*%#ing Vikings. The Vikings?!?!?! What on earth was he thinking! The F*%#ing Vikings? I thought there was no way this could be true. There was no way that he would do something so despicable as to play for the Minnesota F*%#ing Vikings!

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but here goes: Brett Favre, I hope you lose every single game for the rest of your NFL career.**

I vowed to send Brett F*%#ing Favre hate mail everyday if he went to play for the F*%#ing Vikings. Alas, I am lazy and do not want a restraining order of some sort from Brett Favre of the Minnesota F*%#ing Vikings, so I am writing this now. The only thing that would have made me more disappointed is if he went to play for my most hated team the Pittsburgh Steelers. Or announced he was leaving his wife for Bill Cowher and moving to Canada to be ice cube farmers.

So Brett Favre, have fun in the cold with the stinkin’ no good F*%#ing Vikings. I look forward to your retirement at the end of this season. We’ll see you back next year playing for the F*%#ing Bears. You suck Brett Favre!

**Please don’t die though. For some reason, when we talk or write about people, they have tendency to die. Billy Mays, sorry, it wasn’t our fault. Michael Jackson, we apologize, but it wasn’t our fault. I swear!

**Disclaimer: This post is only the opinion of the author (me) not Catherine if any Vikings fans arrive here from Facebook. Repeat: Catherine did not write this!

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So once upon a time, there was this dude known as President Obama… and he had this thing called an interview… during this interview, he swatted and to his suprise, killed a fly.

And most people are thinking at this point… yeah, so?

But not PETA, clearly:

PETA is sending Obama a bug catching device, which allows people to capture insects and set them free.

“It’s not a huge deal. One might even call it a non-story. But if the media wants to talk about fly-swatting, we’ll talk about compassion, even for flies.”

The White House is declining to comment.
(source)

If it’s not a huge deal, then why make the gesture?  Even the suggestion is kinda openly condescending guys.  A fly is a fly. There are millions more. If they choose to bug me, I will sure as hell bug them back.  And that may involve swatting. It may even get brutal with some squishing.  Dare I say, there may even be… splatting. Holy crap.

*rolls eyes*

There’s already an influx of giant bears and deer everywhere.  If we’re forced to be more “humane” to insects and let them all go, then we’d better gear up like Starship Troopers for some mega pest control.

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Happy Valentines Day…

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whatcha gunna do, whatcha gunna do when they come for you?

That’s right, we have a new guessing game in a brand spanking new forum:

GUESS THE CRIME

How to play: Try to figure out who did what to get arrested based on their mugshot. At the end of the day, we’ll reveal the crime and showcase the best guess.

What else is new in the forums? Well, for starters, we’re now allowing anonymous posting. That’s neat, right?  But not nearly as neat as whathca can do after signing up-> First of all, IT’S FREE and super easy.  Registered users get to have their own name, signature, a cookie AND they get to make their own topics and send each other private messages (oh la la).  Soon, they’ll also be able to add their very own profile image and rate different posts, maybe even make some polls.

Update: Registered users can now upload their own profile images! Non-registered users only get to use the default image…

A note to Facebook users: We’ve recently added Facebook Connect which allows you to leave comments using your Facebook account.  The forums don’t currently support this but we’re working on it…

‘Nother Update: With Firefox’s most recent update, there seems to be a reloading error for the Facebook Connect Plugin… we’ve taken it down for the meantime and we’ll try to get something back up in a bit =(

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‘Santa Baby‘ singer passes away on Christmas Day… it seems strangely appropriate but still very sad. Really sucks that we’ve lost so many unique characters this year.

“Eartha Kitt, who purred and pounced her way across Broadway stages, recordings and movie and television screens in a show-business career that lasted more than six decades, died on Thursday. She was 81 and lived in Connecticut.”

Read More at the NY Times

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Okay.  I used to be a band geek, but at least I was subjecting standard band-related songs to complete debauchery like Chariots of Fire, you know?  This, however, is levels beyond that.

While you’re at it, you may also want to check out Backstreet Boys on Trombone, Madonna on Clarinet, and Queen on Xylophone.

More:
Rolling Stones – Ukulele
Britney Spears – Cello
50 Cent – Tuba
(thanks N!)

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Oh ho ho ho, isn’t that what we all want for the holidays?  /end sarcasm

While she might actually hop in a gift box just for the hell of it… chances still aren’t in your favor SO get that special someone the NEXT BEST THING >>  Check out these links to get your sucktacular Courtney Love style on:

Facepaint | Mini Sequin Skirt in Gold | Shredded Fishnet Top | Shine Blast Leggings | Sparkle Shoes in Gold

Like they say, if you can’t have her in a box, why not just dress like her? *shudder*

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But this Billy Mays T-Shirt would be pretty darn cool

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And just in case you forget the instructions, or want to share the idea with everyone you see, you can get an instructional t-shirt here.

And we decorated for Christmas (the javascript snow) and we know is sucks. We’re just being silly. It will be gone in 13 days.

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