Fans want to know…will it be resurrected?!?

From the Dayton Daily News:

Also gathered along Union Road were Franklin twins and storm chasers Levi and Seth Walsh, who said they were out in the thunderstorm when they heard about the fire through a Facebook update.

“It sent goosebumps through my whole body because I am a believer,” said Levi Walsh, 29. “Of all the things that could have been struck, I just think that that would be protected. … It’s something that’s not supposed to happen, Jesus burning,” he said. “I had to see it with my own eyes.”

“I can’t believe Jesus was struck,” said his brother, who noted the giant Hustler Hollywood sign for the adult store across the street was untouched. “It’s the last thing I expected to happen.”

"What's Left of Jesus" - Image & Title from the DDN

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History of this case:

“Oh no, I can’t poop!!! I saw a commercial that said Activia Yogurt and DanActive Yogurt will make me poop like a normal person. Jamie Lee Curtis endorses it, and she seems like she poops. But wait, I’m broke, I guess I’ll spend my last $3 on some yogurt. I’ll be poor, but at least I’ll be able to poop.”

“Hey wait, I ate a cup of yogurt and I still didn’t poop right. I think I’ll sue ‘em to make back my $3 and help some lawyers get $10,000,000 plus expenses.”

So then, some class action lawyers took on the case and found out that other people used a lack of common sense and bought the yogurt to make them poop. Since they ate cheeseburgers, mac and cheese, pizza and pounds of meat, their poop still didn’t come out right. Alas, it was not magical miracle yogurt. It was just yogurt with natural cultures and probiotics that can help to support a healthy digestive tract.

Well, Dannon got a little worried that they may end up fighting a case in court and being taken for bajillions in damages and legal fees. They had played every scenario out in their minds…A jury full of constipated yogurt eaters, a judge with diarrhea, a bailiff missing work for a colonoscopy… It all seemed like too big of a risk for Dannon. They chose to settle out of court.

The settlement details from dannonsettlement.com:

“Dannon has agreed to create a $35,000,000.00 fund for the settlement. This fund will be used to pay valid claims submitted by Class Members, the costs to notify the Class about this Lawsuit and the settlement, the costs to administer the settlement, class representative incentive awards, and payment of the attorneys representing the Class and related litigation expenses. If the total amount of valid claims submitted exceeds $35 million less the costs, awards and fees set forth above, Dannon has agreed to supplement the fund by an amount necessary to pay all eligible claims, up to an additional $10 million.”

Anyhow, when you go look at more details, you’ll find out that you can file a claim and join the class to receive your part of the settlement that it is utterly ridiculous. If you don’t have a receipt for your yogurt purchase (seriously, who saves them?) you get $15. If you spent more than $15 but less than $30 on yogurt, you must attest to the fact that you did indeed spend that much. If you spent between $30 and $100 you must show proof of purchase to get your money from Dannon.

So it kind of makes you wonder why anyone would get involved with such a silly lawsuit. Was it really worth it for the person having issues pooping that they thought could be solved by yogurt? Of course not. It was ridiculous…Until you read the part about the hearing for the $10,000,000 plus expenses for the lawyers.

I can’t imagine what kind of judge lets these cases go through the court. Can they punish Dannon for stupidly settling for  close to $60,000,000 because someone claimed false advertising? So now they have to add some words to the package and commercials to tell people it isn’t a poop cure-all. Wow. That makes sense.

To learn more about the ridiculous and silly settlement, you can download the pdf here: http://www.dannonsettlement.com/sa.pdf

I ate my yogurt. It tasted good and made my belly full. Just because it didn’t perform miracles for me, doesn’t give me reason to sue.

Now, I do have an idea for another class action lawsuit…

So we’re gonna stay up late and watch Nightmare on Elm Street. Then we’re gonna go buy a whole bunch of Red Bulls. Then we’re gonna try to not fall asleep. Then, when we wake up the next morning, we’re gonna find a silly law firm that needs to make a couple-ten million dollars, and we’re gonna sue Red Bull for our money back and a whole bunch of legal fees. Hurry, run, quick, go to Netflix, add Nightmare on Elm Street to your queue, get some Red Bulls (save your receipt) and we’re gonna have us a class action suit!

Any other brilliant ideas for some class action suits?

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Once the “rebuilt” carb was installed in my truck, it would not properly adjust. Every time it would start to work right, the next day it would be wrong again. We took the truck to two local mechanics who checked on it, and said that everything had been done properly to adjust the carburetor. It *should* have been working right. On their recommendation,  we took my truck to another local mechanic and have him fix it.  He had to replace to choke, accelerator pump and the fuel filter on the allegedly rebuilt carb. This added another $210 of parts and labor to the total price. Last month, it finally quit all together.

I brought the carb back to the shop wanting a refund.  First the guy told me he didn’t do cash refunds. Then he offered to replace it with another one he had laying around. When I told him I didn’t want a replacement, and didn’t want him to fix it, I just wanted the money back, he told me it was out of warranty. Despite the fact that there was nothing on the receipt saying all sales were final, and his web site says all of their work comes with a one year warranty, he just said that was his policy.

Then, he looks at the receipt again, because he doesn’t believe me that it doesn’t say “90 day warranty.” The he says he doesn’t remember selling it and did we even pay for it. In addition to the hand written receipt, there was a credit card receipt stapled to it. How could it not be paid for?  Did we break into the place in the middle of the night, have handwriting experts forge his writing and make us a receipt and then forge a credit card receipt? We must be criminal masterminds! Or really, we would be morons because that’s way too much work to save $170.

Once again, he tried to talk me out of wanting my money back. Despite telling him that three other mechanics had looked at it and that we had to replace parts on the carb because he didn’t, he wanted to blame it on something else on my truck. He said the lines must be bad. I said no, we replaced them. He said there must be dirt from the fuel tank. I said no, we checked that. I told him the whole list of everything that had been replaced on my truck and on the carb.  After that, he said I should wait until he was done working on the carb in front of him and then he would take a look at mine. He said there must be dirt in it, and that is not his fault.

Once again, I told him that I didn’t want it fixed by him, I just wanted my money back. Again he offered to replace the carb I had with another one that he had rebuilt. He said if it didn’t work right, I could just bring my truck in. Yeah right! Was this guy insane? I wouldn’t let him work on my truck!

We went back through the whole scenario again, and he told me that I needed to have my boyfriend call him and talk to him about it. When I told him I would just have him come up to the shop instead, he started yelling at me saying that I probably bought a P.O.S. carb from

AutoZone and gave them the carb he rebuilt for the core charge and that I wanted him to pay for my mistake!At this point I was so absolutely furious I couldn’t see straight. I went out to the truck and called the boyfriend to meet me.

So maybe you can tell this by the picture of my truck, or if you know me, you know how much I love my truck. I don’t make it a habit of putting crappy parts on my truck. I want it to work right. Not to mention, I would have preferred to get a little better than the less than 7 mpg I was getting with the carb  he “rebuilt.”

When my boyfriend finally got there, and we walked back in together, the guy definitely changed his tune. He did try to pull his “I don’t remember you, are you sure this was even paid for” type of BS, but not for long. BF told the guy he wanted his money back, and if the guy didn’t give it to him, he would take him to small claims court out of principal. Then the guy tried to start asking what was wrong with it, why didn’t we bring it back sooner, blah, blah, blah. Then went on to write him a check for the price of the carburetor.

The reality was, he sold us a bad carburetor, and when I tried to get the situation resolved, he completely ignored everything I had to say. I guess all I really needed was a nice big man for the guy to look up to.  Unfortunately, this is one shop that will totally try to take advantage a woman.  Avoid this place!!!

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Ten years ago, I started working in a sports bar. During football season, I worked from open to close. I made great money and had lots of fun. With the exception of Pittsburgh Steelers fans, the customers were really nice and cordial. So, for the last 10 years, I have really, really, really hated the Steelers. They have the worst fans of any NFL team. That’s really saying something considering the way the Cowboys, Browns and Eagles fans act.

Don’t get me wrong, as far as their loyalty to their team goes, the aforementioned fans are great. I mean how they interact with the rest of society. They are complete and total absolute jerks! I will be truly content with never going back to the horrid city that is Pittsburgh again! Sure there are decent people there, but one would never know it because of all the loud-mouthed rude Steelers fans!

And so, after many years of cheering on whatever team happened to be playing the Steelers, I happened to hate Bill Cowher. I hate seeing his face, with his butthole chin and expression of complete and utter constipation. I can’t stand to hear his stupid voice on NFL Today. In other words, in my humble opinion, Bill Cowher SUCKS!

How Brett Favre managed to suck even more

Now all that being said, you may be surprised to here that I am neither a Browns or Bengals fan. I am in fact a Green Bay Packers Fan. When Brett Favre announced his retirement (the first time,) I was absolutely crushed. I hoped all summer long that somehow, they would let him come back. When that didn’t happen, and he went to play for the Jets, I was pretty bummed, but ok with it. When announced he would not return for another season with the Jets, I thought it was a good time for him to REALLY retire.

Then rumors start flying about Brett Favre in talks with the F*%#ing Vikings. The Vikings?!?!?! What on earth was he thinking! The F*%#ing Vikings? I thought there was no way this could be true. There was no way that he would do something so despicable as to play for the Minnesota F*%#ing Vikings!

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but here goes: Brett Favre, I hope you lose every single game for the rest of your NFL career.**

I vowed to send Brett F*%#ing Favre hate mail everyday if he went to play for the F*%#ing Vikings. Alas, I am lazy and do not want a restraining order of some sort from Brett Favre of the Minnesota F*%#ing Vikings, so I am writing this now. The only thing that would have made me more disappointed is if he went to play for my most hated team the Pittsburgh Steelers. Or announced he was leaving his wife for Bill Cowher and moving to Canada to be ice cube farmers.

So Brett Favre, have fun in the cold with the stinkin’ no good F*%#ing Vikings. I look forward to your retirement at the end of this season. We’ll see you back next year playing for the F*%#ing Bears. You suck Brett Favre!

**Please don’t die though. For some reason, when we talk or write about people, they have tendency to die. Billy Mays, sorry, it wasn’t our fault. Michael Jackson, we apologize, but it wasn’t our fault. I swear!

**Disclaimer: This post is only the opinion of the author (me) not Catherine if any Vikings fans arrive here from Facebook. Repeat: Catherine did not write this!

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So once upon a time, there was this dude known as President Obama… and he had this thing called an interview… during this interview, he swatted and to his suprise, killed a fly.

And most people are thinking at this point… yeah, so?

But not PETA, clearly:

PETA is sending Obama a bug catching device, which allows people to capture insects and set them free.

“It’s not a huge deal. One might even call it a non-story. But if the media wants to talk about fly-swatting, we’ll talk about compassion, even for flies.”

The White House is declining to comment.
(source)

If it’s not a huge deal, then why make the gesture?  Even the suggestion is kinda openly condescending guys.  A fly is a fly. There are millions more. If they choose to bug me, I will sure as hell bug them back.  And that may involve swatting. It may even get brutal with some squishing.  Dare I say, there may even be… splatting. Holy crap.

*rolls eyes*

There’s already an influx of giant bears and deer everywhere.  If we’re forced to be more “humane” to insects and let them all go, then we’d better gear up like Starship Troopers for some mega pest control.

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Happy Valentines Day…

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AKC and KKK BFF? Get real PETA!!!

In yet another moronic, lame, sensationalist attempt to garner support for their whacked out cause, they go and borrow some outfits from the local KKK to go to a dog show. Likening dog breeders to anti-social hatemongers like the Klan is absolutely insane – even for PETA!

Like the Klan, dog breeders who subscribe to the AKC standards are all about the sanctity of “pure bloodlines.” So what if beagles have epileptic seizures, Dalmatians are deaf, and pugs can barely breathe because of how they are purposely bred to look a certain way? Looks are everything!

Someone over at sfgate.com makes a great point:

if they were lynching and shooting and dragging other dogs behind pickups BECAUSE of their Mutt-iness, THEN perhaps you could draw a parallel. Otherwise, I think not.

Posted By: Goody2shoe | February 10 2009 at 10:46 AM

Umm… I know people who breed showdogs. They take better care of their dogs than they do themselves! Oddly enough people are born with the same ailments they are complaining about. If something is physically wrong with a dog at birth, you love it and take care of it just like you would if it were a human.

PETA clearly has no concept of dog breeding. Especially when it comes to show dog breeding! The dogs are not bred simply on the merit of their looks. Good breeding requires perfect health and temperament. The AKC serves a useful purpose in tracking the bloodlines of dogs so you can verify that they are not inbred like many of the members of the Klan.

Not a one of those show dogs is unhealthy, improperly cared for, inbred or poorly tempered.
From the AKC web site:

AKC Mission Statement

The American Kennel Club is dedicated to upholding the integrity of its Registry, promoting the sport of purebred dogs and breeding for type and function. Founded in 1884, the AKC® and its affiliated organizations advocate for the purebred dog as a family companion, advance canine health and well-being, work to protect the rights of all dog owners and promote responsible dog ownership.

AKC ‘s Objective:

• Advance the study, breeding, exhibiting, running and maintenance of purebred dogs.

AKC’s Core Values:

* We love purebred dogs
* We are committed to advancing the sport of the purebred dog
* We are dedicated to maintaining the integrity of our Registry
* We protect the health and well-being of all dogs
* We cherish dogs as companions
* We are committed to the interests of dog owners
* We uphold high standards for the administration and operation of the AKC
* We recognize the critical importance of our clubs and volunteers

Yet somehow, PETA insists these breeders are reponsible for mutts being in shelters! The AKC promotes quality breeding programs – not inbreeding or unplanned breeding!

They don’t seem to complain much about beauty pageants – which let’s face it, they are the same thing. People are animals too! They have no problem with Pam Anderson or Jenna Jameson undergoing plastic surgery (you guessed it, they’re not real!) because “looks are everything!”

Maybe they should start comparing cosmetic surgeons, diet gurus, fashion industry execs, etc. to the Klan as well. PETA seriously needs to get a grip on reality!

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whatcha gunna do, whatcha gunna do when they come for you?

That’s right, we have a new guessing game in a brand spanking new forum:

GUESS THE CRIME

How to play: Try to figure out who did what to get arrested based on their mugshot. At the end of the day, we’ll reveal the crime and showcase the best guess.

What else is new in the forums? Well, for starters, we’re now allowing anonymous posting. That’s neat, right?  But not nearly as neat as whathca can do after signing up-> First of all, IT’S FREE and super easy.  Registered users get to have their own name, signature, a cookie AND they get to make their own topics and send each other private messages (oh la la).  Soon, they’ll also be able to add their very own profile image and rate different posts, maybe even make some polls.

Update: Registered users can now upload their own profile images! Non-registered users only get to use the default image…

A note to Facebook users: We’ve recently added Facebook Connect which allows you to leave comments using your Facebook account.  The forums don’t currently support this but we’re working on it…

‘Nother Update: With Firefox’s most recent update, there seems to be a reloading error for the Facebook Connect Plugin… we’ve taken it down for the meantime and we’ll try to get something back up in a bit =(

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This one I kind of like. It has a bit of a subjective meaning. I read it as asking Republicans to abstain, so only Liberals reproduce. Great idea!

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