Okay.  I used to be a band geek, but at least I was subjecting standard band-related songs to complete debauchery like Chariots of Fire, you know?  This, however, is levels beyond that.

While you’re at it, you may also want to check out Backstreet Boys on Trombone, Madonna on Clarinet, and Queen on Xylophone.

More:
Rolling Stones – Ukulele
Britney Spears – Cello
50 Cent – Tuba
(thanks N!)

Related posts:

1. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – Courtney Love
2. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts that Suck – Spiritual Experience
3. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts that Suck – The Necklace Shirt

I can imagine how someone thought this was a good idea, and maybe, just maybe, it still is. This commercial they made is just insane!

Seriously, a family wearing them to a sporting event? I’d have to think my parents had lost their damn minds if they tried to make me wear that in public!

You can buy different versions of the sleeved blanket at amazon:

Blanket with Sleeves – this was often bought with Mama Mia on DVD. This makes for a supreme chick flick gift!

The Cuddle Wrap was bought together with House MD, Season 2 on DVD. Just wrap snap and zip!

One of the gift exchanges last year resulted in mom coming home with one of these things…except hers had leg holes. It was like a sleeping bag with openings. Sure, its warm, and baby’s stay really warm in them, but I don’t think this is a good thing for grownups.

Related posts:

1. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck (we don’t own a calendar)
2. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – Katana Practice Sword
3. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – Billy Mays

“Have you ever looked towards the Heavens and asked GOD for a sign ?”

‘Tis the season for being super generous and I know you’re looking for that one gift that no one else would ever think to give in a million years.  And I bet as soon as your eyes landed on this you lit up like a big ol’ christmas tree.  That’s how it always starts…. Sure, you’ll never forget the look on that special someone’s face when you give them a Spiritual Experience, now available on ebay for just $20!

But you absolutely must remember that the look of shock and awe isn’t always a good sign…

So, unless you want your gift receiver to quote this line: “My friends bought me a Spiritual Experience for Christmas and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.” Do not buy them a Spiritual Experience on Ebay… I know it’s tempting beyond belief (pun intended), but just don’t.

Please.

Related posts:

1. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts that Suck – The Necklace Shirt
2. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – Courtney Love
3. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – Fugly Sweaters

« Necklace: $2775

« Shirt: $15

« Dignity lost while wearing this atrocity: Priceless

If your goal is gaudy then here’s a money-saving suggetion for your sucky gift giving, why not just buy a shirt with the necklace already printed on it? ↓

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1. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts that Suck – Spiritual Experience
2. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – Courtney Love
3. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – And are really crappy

Is NOT a good holiday gift!

I have to say today was tough. The runners up were Maguays/Gremlins, a usb pole dancer, and the thighmaster. The gremlins lost, because as long as you keep them dry and feed them before midnight, they’re cute as hell. The usb pole dancer lost because, well, I just hope nobody buys it. The thighmaster lost because there was only one really funny picture on their web site.

After seeing Tony Little’s web site, and the banner that shows him holding a dog and kind of looks like he’s friends with this guy, the Gazelle won!

People! Nobody wants to see this guy under the Christmas tree!!! He’s scary! Not to mention a featured product that is called “Tony’s Little Cheeks” is just flippin’ weird!

So people out there, please refrain from calling that 800 number in the next 10 minutes to make sure you get the bonus “Little Cheeks” with your Gazelle! I know its only costing you 15 easy payments of $89.45; but please, resist the urge! Don’t call now! Stop!

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1. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – Sarah Palin Glasses
2. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – Fugly Sweaters
3. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts that Suck – The Necklace Shirt

They could have had a shoot out at the Crawford Ranch…

All of the McCain/Palin supporters have warned us, we haven’t heard the last from her! That being said, go ahead and put away your Palin clone glasses you bought before the election. Don’t try to wrap them up and give them to someone else.

Eyedoctors – don’t try to get rid of them by sending them out in Christmas cards to your patients. Put them away in storage, cause like the Governator says…”She’ll be back!”

Please local newslady, we know you think they make you look all smart and sophisticated even when you wear her brand of hooker shoes, but let it go. Maybe you can wear them again in four more years.

And you, pitbull down the street! You’re not fooling anybody!!!

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1. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts that Suck – Excercise Equipment
2. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – And are really crappy
3. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – Fugly Sweaters

This is inspired by some guys I met at one of the local bars who decided to get a group together and dress in the tackiest of thrift store holiday sweaters. I think they would have loved to have these…

or maybe this ensemble:

These are from the lady that designed the sexy turkey hat, which I’m still unable to understand. I feel kind of bad for making fun of her stuff because I knit and crochet too, but seriously, what is she thinking?!? This is an insanely awful waste of time and yarn. Disturbingly enough, she has sold 715 patterns and goods in her etsy store.

We designed some sweaters that would go great with these hats. Check ‘em out and let us know which on is your favorite.

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1. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – And are really crappy
2. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts that Suck – Spiritual Experience
3. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts that Suck – Excercise Equipment

Oh ho ho ho, isn’t that what we all want for the holidays?  /end sarcasm

While she might actually hop in a gift box just for the hell of it… chances still aren’t in your favor SO get that special someone the NEXT BEST THING >>  Check out these links to get your sucktacular Courtney Love style on:

Facepaint | Mini Sequin Skirt in Gold | Shredded Fishnet Top | Shine Blast Leggings | Sparkle Shoes in Gold

Like they say, if you can’t have her in a box, why not just dress like her? *shudder*

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1. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – And are really crappy
2. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – Hannah Montana Sheet Music
3. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts that Suck – Spiritual Experience

I apologize for calling out this person’s work as crappy, but WTF?!?

If you feel an overwhelming urge to get someone a shitty gift that looks like shit, at least try something like this:

Surely someone would appreciate the gold-plated poo plaque more than the matching mother and daughter turd necklace shirt (again, WTF?!?!?)

Related posts:

1. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – Courtney Love
2. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts that Suck – The Necklace Shirt
3. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – Fugly Sweaters

Lesson? Practice with wood first…

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1. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – Billy Mays
2. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck (we don’t own a calendar)
3. 12 Days of Holiday Gifts That Suck – The Snuggie