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12 Days of Holiday Gifts that Suck – Excercise Equipment

whosucks — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 19:06:49 +0000

8. Anything you can buy from late night infomercials

Is NOT a good holiday gift!

I have to say today was tough. The runners up were Maguays/Gremlins, a usb pole dancer, and the thighmaster. The gremlins lost, because as long as you keep them dry and feed them before midnight, they’re cute as hell. The usb pole dancer lost because, well, I just hope nobody buys it. The thighmaster lost because there was only one really funny picture on their web site.

After seeing Tony Little’s web site, and the banner that shows him holding a dog and kind of looks like he’s friends with this guy, the Gazelle won!

People! Nobody wants to see this guy under the Christmas tree!!! He’s scary! Not to mention a featured product that is called “Tony’s Little Cheeks” is just flippin’ weird!

So people out there, please refrain from calling that 800 number in the next 10 minutes to make sure you get the bonus “Little Cheeks” with your Gazelle! I know its only costing you 15 easy payments of $89.45; but please, resist the urge! Don’t call now! Stop!

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Cows with guns do not suck!

whosucks — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 20:55:25 +0000

We’ve been pretty boring and serious, talking about the election, guns, domains and all. Time for a little fun courtesy of cowswithguns.com

And feel free to sing along:

Cows With Guns
by Dana Lyons
by Dana Lyons, copyright 1996

Intro
——
Am G Am

AmFat and docile, big and dumb
They look so stupid, they aren’t much fun
GCows aren’t Amfun

They eat to grow, grow to die
Die to be et at the hamburger fry
Cows well done

Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
No one imagined the great cow guru
Cows are one

He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
Cow Tse Tongue

He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd
Cow doldrums

He mooed we must fight, escape or we’ll die
Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high
Bad cow pun

But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
Cows are bummed

He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
Cows with guns

They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
Cow well hung

Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!

He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
We are free roving bovines, we run free today

We will Ffight for bovine Cfreedom
And Ehold our large heads Amhigh
We will Frun free with the CBuffalo, or Edie
Cows with [Am]guns

They crashed the gate in a great stampede
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
Cows have fun

Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
Much cow dung

Black smoke rising, darkening the day
Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

The President said “enough is enough

These uppity cattle, its time to get tough”
Cow dung flung

The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
Cows on buns

The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
They mooed their last moos,
they chewed their last hay
Cows out gunned

The order was given to turn cows to whoppers
Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers

Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

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How Freakin’ Cool is This?!?!?

whosucks — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 16:53:59 +0000

From the washingtonpost.com

Web Host of Groups That Traffic Spam Kicked Offline

By Brian Krebs
washingtonpost.com Staff Writer
Thursday, November 13, 2008; Page D01

The volume of junk e-mail sent worldwide may have dropped drastically yesterday after a Web-hosting firm, identified by many in the computer security community as a major host of organizations engaged in spam activity, was taken offline.

McColo, a San Jose Web-hosting company that, according to computer security experts, serves as a U.S. staging ground for international firms that sell a variety of items, including counterfeit pharmaceuticals and child pornography, ceased operations after two Internet providers blocked Web access.

SecureWorks, an Atlanta security-services provider, estimates that McColo was responsible for 75 percent of all spam sent in the United States each day.

Global Crossing, a Bermuda company with U.S. operations in New Jersey and one of the two companies that provided Internet access to McColo, would not say why it cut off the company, but said Global Crossing’s policy prohibits “malicious activity.”

Benny Ng, director of marketing for Hurricane Electric, a Fremont, Calif., company that served as McColo’s other Internet provider, said it decided to block the host firm after reading about allegations against McColo.

“We shut them down,” Ng said. “We looked into it a bit, saw the size and scope of the problem . . . Within the hour, we had terminated all of our connections to them.”

read more

This is absolutely wonderful! Hopefully other providers will follow suit. Because, as we all know, SPAM Sucks!!!

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I feel like Homer…

whosucks — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 15:30:20 +0000

When I went to vote this morning, I chose the machine voting over paper. Mostly out of curiosity. I wanted to make sure what happened to Homer didn’t happen to me. After I inserted my voter card, I realized that wouldn’t be an issue.

On first glance, I thought they forgot to put Obama on the ballot at all. Right there in the top left corner was McCain/Palin, next to some guy running for the Constitution Party, next to him, Ralph Nader. Where the hell was Obama? Then I found it. Tucked down in the bottom right corner of the screen above the write-in option. That’s where they put Obama/Biden. WTF?

Surely the Rs will say they did this for our own good, so we wouldn’t accidentally select the wrong candidate like we would if McCain and Obama were placed next to each other. This wasn’t ordered alphabetically or in any other way I could figure out.

Really, I tend to think I’m pretty smart. I’m a good reader, and a fast reader. I scanned that page twice and didn’t see it. I had to actually slow down and read through every candidates name before I found Obama.

State of Ohio – I say this is super B.S. Just because the Republican party here lost their challenges of the new voters. Ken Blackwell and his relationship with Diebold live on in Ohio. Maybe we will be the next Florida.

Update: Apparently they hid him at the bottom of the list on the paper ballots too.

Is anybody else having any issues with voting today?

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How to have a good time in Middletown

whosucks — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:36:21 +0000

Police in Middletown made a rather bizarre arrest Monday night, taking into custody a woman dressed in a cow suit who was seen acting erratically.

Michelle Allen of Middletown was arrested on one count of disorderly conduct for allegedly getting in the way of traffic on Wilbraham Road and chasing children in her cow suit.

She also urinated on a neighbor’s front porch, police say.

According to police, Allen talked back and threatened to cause problems in the jail if she was arrested.
Allen appeared in court Tuesday morning dressed in the suit.
It is not clear why she was wearing the costume.

And then I wonder why people always pick on Ohio. This actually made national news

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Poor Ohio…

whosucks — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:31:24 +0000

I saw this over at Musings from the Coast

Why does everybody pick on us so much? Just because we have crazy ladies that dress up as cows, chase cars & kids and then pee on the neighbor’s porch? Because Jerry Springer was actually mayor of one of our largest cities? OR is it because we have the largest Jesus statue in a pond in front of a church where Ricky Skaggs performs?

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Just say no…

whosucks — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:13:52 +0000

Thanks to the people at MoveOn, kids now have ways to talk to their parents about the decision they are making for their children’s future this election. Using the general ideas of how to talk to your kids about drugs, they’ve adapted them so kids can talk to their parents about voting for McCain. It also includes a link back to Obama’s site for a step by step of how to have “The Talk.”

Whether you are for McCain for Obama, the concept is a wonderful way to get kids involved in politics, elections & voting. I was somewhat disappointed that I couldn’t find something similar on McCain’s web site. oh well, enjoy the video.

Kids, don’t forget to have the talk with your parents

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W Certainly sucks, but Oliver Stone is pretty cool

whosucks — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 19:04:35 +0000

Check Out: 25 Reasons Why President George W Bush Sucks!

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Political Videos

whosucks — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 18:21:41 +0000

Watch the latest videos on YouTube.com

Keeping our country great by making fun of our politicians.

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The guy that made this does not suck!

whosucks — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 18:14:32 +0000

More on Sarah Palin: Terminatrix: The Sarah Palin Chronicles

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