hahaha
My Letter of absolutely no consequence:
To Whom It May Inspire Lazy Mimicry,
I am writing today to whine my utter PISS-IGNORANT FURY over the fact that Pigeon Poop dared to momentarily think the dreaded O-Word.
You see, I am inordinately proud of my sexuality – and why shouldn't I be? It took incredible skill and hard work on my part to undergo mitosis – not to mention all the determination it took me to master sneezing. That's why pride in my sexuality constitutes my entire one-dimensional identity – and for that I deserve automatic and constant exemption from life's annoyances.
Now, I'm a supporter of free speech and all, but when it isn't gushingly positive about people to whom I condescend for cheap political points, then it's time for draconian censorship!
Furthermore, as a founder of the esteemed Transdimentional Society of the Similarly Horny, it is my meal ticket to remind you that only WE are allowed to use the O-Word – as a proud expression of our subconscious subjugation.
You know, growing up red in my clothing optional xenophobic backwater, it didn't take long to realize that the problem with today's world is that people who are different from me are too criminally self-absorbed to fixate entirely on MY YouTube masterpiece. And that's why when Pigeon Poop used the O-Word, I felt I'd been personally smacked, and as such hereby formally demand a guest appearance on The View.
Yours in Victimized Dread,
Cake
PS: I won't be surprised if you ignore me. That's just the kind of treatment I'd expect from a typical snotty jungle bunny like YOU!
