Brett Favre sucks more than Bill Cowturd
Why Bill Cowturd Sucks
Ten years ago, I started working in a sports bar. During football season, I worked from open to close. I made great money and had lots of fun. With the exception of Pittsburgh Steelers fans, the customers were really nice and cordial. So, for the last 10 years, I have really, really, really hated the Steelers. They have the worst fans of any NFL team. That’s really saying something considering the way the Cowboys, Browns and Eagles fans act.
Don’t get me wrong, as far as their loyalty to their team goes, the aforementioned fans are great. I mean how they interact with the rest of society. They are complete and total absolute jerks! I will be truly content with never going back to the horrid city that is Pittsburgh again! Sure there are decent people there, but one would never know it because of all the loud-mouthed rude Steelers fans!
And so, after many years of cheering on whatever team happened to be playing the Steelers, I happened to hate Bill Cowher. I hate seeing his face, with his butthole chin and expression of complete and utter constipation. I can’t stand to hear his stupid voice on NFL Today. In other words, in my humble opinion, Bill Cowher SUCKS!
How Brett Favre managed to suck even more
Now all that being said, you may be surprised to here that I am neither a Browns or Bengals fan. I am in fact a Green Bay Packers Fan. When Brett Favre announced his retirement (the first time,) I was absolutely crushed. I hoped all summer long that somehow, they would let him come back. When that didn’t happen, and he went to play for the Jets, I was pretty bummed, but ok with it. When announced he would not return for another season with the Jets, I thought it was a good time for him to REALLY retire.
Then rumors start flying about Brett Favre in talks with the F*%#ing Vikings. The Vikings?!?!?! What on earth was he thinking! The F*%#ing Vikings? I thought there was no way this could be true. There was no way that he would do something so despicable as to play for the Minnesota F*%#ing Vikings!
I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but here goes: Brett Favre, I hope you lose every single game for the rest of your NFL career.**
I vowed to send Brett F*%#ing Favre hate mail everyday if he went to play for the F*%#ing Vikings. Alas, I am lazy and do not want a restraining order of some sort from Brett Favre of the Minnesota F*%#ing Vikings, so I am writing this now. The only thing that would have made me more disappointed is if he went to play for my most hated team the Pittsburgh Steelers. Or announced he was leaving his wife for Bill Cowher and moving to Canada to be ice cube farmers.
So Brett Favre, have fun in the cold with the stinkin’ no good F*%#ing Vikings. I look forward to your retirement at the end of this season. We’ll see you back next year playing for the F*%#ing Bears. You suck Brett Favre!
**Please don’t die though. For some reason, when we talk or write about people, they have tendency to die. Billy Mays, sorry, it wasn’t our fault. Michael Jackson, we apologize, but it wasn’t our fault. I swear!
**Disclaimer: This post is only the opinion of the author (me) not Catherine if any Vikings fans arrive here from Facebook. Repeat: Catherine did not write this!
